my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
