there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize