Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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