how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We talked him into tasing himself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
