Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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