I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
