would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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