whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize