She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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