babies were throwing up all over the place
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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