She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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