That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
