I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
