In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
