Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
