That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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