I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
