you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
