i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
