is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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