whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
