you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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