My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
