I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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