Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
