Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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