could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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