So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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