Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
