oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
