Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
