I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
