we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
