Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
