from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
