He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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