My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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