Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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