I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize