he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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