Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
