I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And then he peed in my hair
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
