Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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