Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
