escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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