Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
