eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
