Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize