So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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