but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
