we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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