I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
