Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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