would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
