ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize