I hate all girls vehemently.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
