brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
