i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
