I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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