Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can text with my tongue
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
