At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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