my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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