Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
