OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
